stoke grey melange As a child I moved around a lot, I went to a few different secondary schools and actually found it very hard to make friends. I’m not the type of person to put myself out there in social situations, I’m usually the quiet one in the corner or sat down alone or with one or two people. I find it very hard to interact in groups and at social gatherings. I put that down to being quite a shy person and although on the exterior I may seem pretty confident when talking to people on the inside I’m feeling rather awkward, not knowing what to say next and really thinking about what others may be thinking. 

Hard to make friends?

That being said the blogging industry means that you can make a whole bunch of friends online and to be honest some of my blog friends are the closest I have. However, it’s not all roses. Although I have a few blogger friends I still find myself feeling very alone in the blogging community, maybe it’s because I live in Devon and rarely attend blogger events because the majority of them are in London. Maybe it’s because the blogger groups that are already ‘formed’ are quite hard to interact with and maybe it’s just because I don’t put myself out there enough and often doubt myself. I’ve been told I doubt myself way too much by friends, family and colleagues in the past. I’m a very capable person but that’s just  how I am, how I’ve always been.

What I’m trying to say is, I love the blogging friends I have. I’d love more but living where I do, being where I am in my blogging career and fearing I’m not successful enough stops me from talking to other bloggers, or those bloggers talking to me if that makes sense. I’m probably talking a load of gibberish but this is just something that’s been going on in my mind for a while and I just wanted to share with you a more personal side to me.

Comparison

I also find that I’m always comparing myself to other also which is a really bad habit to have. It often makes me feel like giving up because I feel I’m not good enough. “Why don’t I look like that?”, “Why aren’t I creative like her?”, “I wish we could be friends”, “I wish my pictures looked like that.”, “Why can’t we do lovely things like that?”. The list goes on, I’m constantly questioning why I’m not as good or as successful as others, constantly comparing the way I look and with my confidence being at an all time low at the moment it just makes me feel so incredibly sad.

Reassurance

This is not a post asking for compliments or asking for reassurance, this is just how I’m currently feeling. I do have days when I feel like everything is amazing, I often say to myself. “Wow, I’m so lucky to get all of the opportunities I get!”, “I really love my photography today.”, “I love this blog post.”, “I love my blogging friends, there is always someone to talk to.”

Again the list goes on, there are so many positives and negatives to blogging and friendships are a huge positive. I’m incredibly lucky to have blogging as my hobby and now career, it’s not something I ever thought I’d do or stick with as I’m a very faddy person but this, this is my internet baby! Blogging though can be a rather lonely job, you are working alone most of the time and although your friends are always there online sometimes that just doesn’t feel enough and you long for that engagement and to finally meet the lovely people you talk to on a daily basis.

Do you feel lonely in the blogging community sometimes? Or do you feel the complete opposite? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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  • Emma

    I feel super lonely! I’m not a big blogger at all and never go to events so it’s hard to interact. I also have 0 confidence so don’t like to voice my opinions or join in with conversations on twitter!
    However I’m happy doing what I’m doing! 🙂
    Glossy Boutique

  • Simi Atanda Lindgren

    Hi Liza, so funny you were saying that! Being a new mum(my son is 8months old) and a wife and now a blogger and working, sometimes it can feel like I’m the only one and it would be great to collaborate with women in my field such as yourself! I think blogging can be difficult and lonely at times, especially when you want people to feel as passionate about what you write (or even see it) but I’m now learning to interact more with the bloggers that I enjoy such as yourself and that’s proving to be fantastic, especially when they respond and engage! Such an honest post, thank you! X
    http://www.whiitelist.com

    • Ah it’s great when you feel better, being a new mummy can be so hard. I had really bad social anxiety when I had Vinny but luckily got over it and I feel much better out and about these days. x

      • Simi Atanda Lindgren

        Yes! Especially when your the first in your social group to give birth first! X

  • I feel lonely as well and I m just as shy as u r…. Nice blog! 🙂
    http://www.afashionholicslife.blogspot.com

  • Alex Pearce

    Ahhh Liza I’m so sorry you feel like this, I definitely think location plays a huge part in it. I wish we lived closer so the boys could hang out! The there any facebook groups for bloggers in your area? Xx

    • Ah location does make things so hard, I love Devon it’s such a beautiful place but it does make it hard to travel to London ect when you have little ones too. x

  • Michaele

    Ah i know exactly what u mean… Specially the way of comparing urself to others that keeps u away from them 🙁 But as we say – quality over quantity so let’s be grateful for those few we have 🙂
    http://noifjustlift.com

  • Emma

    Ah I so know how you feel! I’m always comparing myself to others and often feel like my blog is inadequate, or wish it was better. I sometimes can’t believe that people actually read it! I found you a couple of months ago and think your blog and youtube is amazing! You’ve done incredibly well to get where you are and to be able to make a career out of it, so well done! Haha!
    Also, we live in London and are actually thinking of moving nearer to Devon! xx

    • AH Emma thankyou so much for your lovely words. Devon is such a beautiful place x

  • Oh Liza. Do you know I reckon there are lots of people that feel like this as we all assume everyone else has loads of friends. I have a couple of people I chat to every day but I rarely get to see anyone. If I makes you feel any better you are someone I assume would have loads of friends so just goes to show that those people you are looking at are probably feel exactly the same as you. Hope that makes sense anyway. What we should do is set up a FB group and invite people we know feel the same. Not for anything blogging related necessarily but for just chatting nonsense like friends do. 🙂 xx

    • Yes should totally create a group, I’m a part of the blogbumpgroup on Facebook which is fab for support x

      • me too hun. xx

  • caroline

    Liza, I can totally relate to this and I applaud your honesty. I’ve umm’d and ahh’d time and time again about writing a similar post and also just more personal posts, but I’m quite a personal person when it comes to feelings. I have to be among trusting people, but sometimes that isn’t enough.
    I’ve always put my feelings on blogging/my blog/loneliness down to my age. However I’m sure this isn’t the case. I like you am quite a shy person. I generally wait to be approached. Especially within a community that seems to have a young following, although I don’t look my age I sometimes fear approaching people younger than I as weird.lol I know that sounds weird in itself, but it’s how I’ve felt. On the flip to that, I don’t seem capable of befriending people my age. I’m quite conscious that those i have come across seem to be into beauty, which is something that I’m just not into really. Yet, I find pure parenting bloggers too much also. It’s asif I can’t find a niche I fit into or people like me.
    However recently I have found a lovely ew blogger sin my town and also have a little group of lovely ladies I speak to daily from Leeds.
    You’ve always been someone I’ve felt I could connect with as I followed you through your pregnancy, whilst I was pregnant and our boys are only a few weeks apart. Distance however is a bugger.lol

    Caroline.xx

    • Ah Caroline thankyou for your comment. I agree, we totally connect. For me personally I don’t think it’s the thing to really have a ‘niche’ I just love to write about my world and if it’s beauty one week it is and if it’s lifestyle the next then that is what it should be. I think a lot of people think you need to have a niche to be successful and I don’t think that’s true. x

  • Tanita Taylor

    I feel like this too sometimes Liza. It’s bloody awful isint it. But it is also so sad to read that an incredible, beautiful and creative person like yourself feels this way. Loneliness is a huge thing for a lot of people and I think you can even feel lonely when you have loads of friends. I think loneliness can be a sign to get to know ourselves better. I know that’s true for me anyway. I used to be incredibly incredibly lonely but I’m really not anymore and I haven’t gained anymore friends I have just gained myself so to speak. I have learnt to enjoy my own company and do what I love and what makes me happy and a huge part of that is my online space I love it so much it might not be everyone’s cup of tea but it’s my perfect cup of tea and that’s all that matters. Do things for you lovely. And I often look at your blog and think how amazing you are. Your photography is beautiful. Keep your chin up your space her and you as a person inspire very many people. It’s also okay and perfectly normal to have ‘down’ days we all get them … Lots of love and a virtual hug to you Xxx

    • Some great points lovely, thankyou so much for reading and leaving a comment x

  • Janine Hardy

    I know exactly where you’re coming from I feel like this too! Always somehow on the outside looking in. I’m aguilty of looking at other bloggers and comparing myself. I’ve recently come down on myself to stop doing that as it’s not been healthy. Started to see it as I’m in my own lane and I’m very inspired by others but working hard not to compare myself. Feel like we should start a non exclusive meet up group or something for anyone that feels that way so we can all be mates lol! Love your blog btw only just stumbled across you but I will certainly be back. Xx

    • Thankyou for coming over to have a read, I think we all tend to compare at some point. We must stop! hehe x

  • Massive hugs. I’m glad to read you do have those days where it does feel like everything is going well, but totally understand the loneliness as well. I had a difficult childhood and it’s left me with social anxiety so I struggle to get out there and meet people. Its only this past year I’ve started to have the confidence to go to blogger events (like less than a handful!) but even then I barely talk to anyone as everyone else just seems to be so much more confident and already has their little group of friends. I’ve gone off on a bit of a tangent, just want to say you’re not alone and give you a virtual hug xx

  • I feel ya so much on this. I find it so difficult to make blogging friends. I’m in so many blogging communities but it feels like me & everyone else are on 2 different levels. They are there to help, but I haven’t actually made a friend. I’m naturally an introvert though, so that could be a reason. Blog conferences are expensive too, and involve a lot of travel at times. I just hope that one day I’ll connect with someone!

  • Elien Voets

    I know how you feel! I find it hard to make blogging friends – I have never been very outgoing or I don’t know how I should call this. But I tried to change it, I have the confidence right now to go to blogger events and talk to other people.

  • Such a great post Liza! Thanks for sharing with us!

    Lots of Love,
    BLOG | TAISLANY

  • the blogging world can seem like a very lonely place at times. Most of the bloggers i’ve come across are so lovely, but I can’t help but find it can be very cliquey at times!

    http://www.theprettynatural.blogspot.co.uk

    • Ah yes me too, feel free to chat away over here when you need to x

  • Kirsty McManus

    I have not related so much to a post in a long time! I fall in and out of the blogging realm as I lose motivation for writing so quickly, it’s so hard to try and continue when you feel as though you are only writing for yourself. Some blogging friends would be great right now….

    Kirsty
    http://www.trackingtwenty.co.uk

    • I’m always here if you need to chat 🙂 so many people related to this post which is nice to see because we can all talk to each other now x

  • Claudia

    It can be a really lonely place, I completely agree with you and I really relate. I think it’s only natural to compare yourself to others, like we are always striving to be better but it can really get you down as well. I’ve only ever gone to one blogging event and I went with a blogging friend, I was so quiet the whole time, I’m so socially awkward, even round my partners family I struggle. Us shy gals need to stick together! 🙂 Always here if you want a chat xxx

    • Lol, I’m socially awkward out with Marks family too! How funny x x

  • Reading this it felt like I’d written it. I was okay in school but since then I’ve found it really hard to make friends, especially with big groups of people.

    I’m trying to put myself out there more with other bloggers. I live in Hampshire so not that far from London, but don’t really go to events and with a baby on the way I don’t see that happening at all any time soon. I actually started my blog as a way to make some friends but it hasn’t worked out and it does get lonely. I have a full time jobs but about to start maternity leave for a year so it feels like I might be cut off a bit more.

    Thank you for posting such an honest post.
    Debbie x Hello Deborah

    • Ah blogging has made me lots of friends but on the other hand it can be lonely too, sounds odd doesn’t it! lol x

  • april

    I think so many of us can relate to this, and its surprising reading this is how you feel as i think your the blog that a lot of us look up to and think all those things about. You are such a influential blogger, i read your blog over the ‘top’ bloggers because you make yourself really relatable and have an amazing blog! I find it hard to make friends in both blogging and ‘mum life’ but if you ever need a mum friend I’m here xx ( its April – thepamperedmum btw i just don’t know how to log in on this haha)

    • Ah thankyou April, you are so sweet and a blogging friend I adore. Thankyou x

  • Camilla

    Thanks for being so open and honest. I totally understand what you mean and I’ve found the same with the blogger groups being already formed. Plus you never know if someone will be the same offline as they act online sometimes.

    Just starting out in blogging is hard and to run a blog along a full time job often means I want to give up as comparing my blog to other blogs makes me feel like mine is so far behind, there’s no point in continuing!

    http://www.theforeveredit.com

    • Ah keep going, never give up on your dreams and if you enjoy blogging you should definitely continue that’s why I do 🙂 x

  • trona

    yes, I often feel like this. I think because blogging is so solitary by nature we can often feel isolated, and also the nature of social media is that we often have no real idea what goes on behind other peoples computer screens. I think many people are going through big changes at the moment with blogging. It’s not quite in it’s infancy anymore and it’s having to shed some of that bright eyedness we all had. Unfortunately there’s a whole lot of fakeness going on (followers and likes for example) and this is affecting genuine people. I’d just try to take things with a pinch of salt, those people claiming all the success might not actually be what they are making out. You just keep doing your own thing. I absolutely love your photography btw, stunning! <3

    • Thankyou for taking the time to read this post and for your lovely words x

  • Harriet patchett

    We should organise a Devon meet up, I feel a bit out of touch as all the fun things happen in London and there’s nothing like a proper face to face meet to build relationships! Im the same though comparison is the worst! harrietloves xxxx

    • lizaprideaux

      Ah that would be so lovely x

  • I totally get you Liza, I really do. I have my close friend Carli who I do lots of blogging stuff with, but in general, in the bigger picture, I also feel very secluded from the whole thing. I feel like there are a lot of cliques about, which aren’t a bad thing! But it makes me feel very self-conscious that I’m not cool enough to be in one. I think you’re awesome though, and if you ever fancied a chat, you know where I am <3

    Megan xo
    Thumbelina Lillie | UK Beauty & Fashion Blog

    • lizaprideaux

      Aw thanks Megan, I never knew you felt similar you’ve been doing amazing and I love your blog. I’m always here if you need a chat too! x

  • RosySweets

    I am new to Disqus and this hit close to home. I am looking for places to chat and new groups. I am not on here often and if you have more suggestions and groups, I would love some advice. Thank you !!

  • First off, I’m in Devon too *waves*. I know exactly how you feel and I think it IS hard living down here when so many of the events etc are in London or bigger cities. I’ve been blogging for 5 and a half years and I’ve found the community has changed LOADS since I first started. That’s not to say it’s changed for the better or worse, but it can be hard to feel engaged all the time when so many new faces come and go. I’m glad I’ve found a fellow Devon blogger – I had no idea there were more down this way!

  • I know what you mean about finding it hard to join in well-established blogging communities. It sometimes feels to me like being back at school and just being on the outside of friendship groups.

    Lisabeth

  • I feel like this about myself even outside of the blogging community. I’m the kind of person who has always compared myself to other people, I just can’t help it. I don’t have many friends who I consider to be good enough for me to give them the time of day so I just keep my distance from them, and very often I also feel awkward when meeting people, especially at social gatherings so I just completely avoid them now. But I need to start getting myself together because with blogging and also being a photographer it’s really important for me to learn to network with people and handle situations like these.

    I also love that you live in Devon! I had a mini holiday there two years ago and I can’t wait to actually go back 🙂

    http://www.yasminqureshi.co

  • It’s amazing to see a woman of your following and popularity feel lonely, I feel lonely in the community as I see cliques and people with over 10k followers only seem to be wanting to be friends with each other. I don’t care what peoples following is, I’d talk to anyone as long as they are nice. I have always looked up to your blog and a little envious of how you always look amazing and how you get it all done with two children, my fiance does work away though and the only time I get to myself is 7pm when they are in bed and by then I’m usually exhausted myself but really wanting to make a go of everything this year and more things for myself. If I lived closer to you I would love to go for coffee or play dates with my two boys and you as were similar in ages just a little off, my boys would love yours. If the next time were in Devon and you fancied meeting up that would be lovely, we go once a year at least. It’s been a must thing to do since I was little, I would love to move to Devon one day its my favourite place in the UK. Hope you are okay though, the other thing is a lot of people get a bit to green eyes monster when they see people being really successful and don’t stick around to encourage and support and be there through good and bad times. I’m sure you have a lot of people behind you but we all get lonely. I’m here if you ever want to chat, keep slaying girl. xxx (Paige’s Preferences)

  • Jessica Harris

    I can totally relate to this. I live an hour away from London, am just starting out in blogging so I don’t know anybody or have blogger friends (yet, hopefully) and trying not to compare to what everyone else is doing. But, what you’re doing is amazing and I hope when I have children I can juggle everything as well as you! xxx

  • The beauty Spyglass

    I can relate to this too, I only live an hour or so from Devon. I get invited to events but they’re always in central London, it’s not easy arranging childcare etc. Maybe we should organise our own blogger events for those in the South West! 💞

  • Pingback: How my blog has changed since becoming a mum of two()

  • Emily Nellist

    Just refound this post and couldn’t agree more, we’re midlands so miles away from anything!
    http://www.babiesandbeauty.com